Thursday, July 7, 2011

El mundo siempre gira... (The World Keeps Turning)

The world turns
Even as we look at it
Taunting us that whether we watch, or we don't
Time marches us unrelentingly forward
So many things we can't control.

But on occasion arise
When we can choose
A few of those marching steps
But this time I find myself afraid
Because I might fall and I could fail
And this time
It will be my fault
Not something, not someone, not an invisible force driving me I can blame
But rather
My volition, my will, my responsibility, my choice.

School has taught me to analyze, to judge
Weigh, distribute, balance, and rationalize
But the small, small heart that is just now learning to beat inside me
Cries softly, flutters brightly, and nudges me
To listen to my voice
To the things I know, the things that just are
And assures me that maybe, just maybe
Sometimes I should feel first, and think second.

Oh how I wish I could tell you I know I will be in the right
Assured and poised, passing this interview of life
Pressed shirt, polished shoes, neatly groomed
Suit and tie
But inside I just don't know
Knees are shaking
Knuckles white
Heart is beating
But I'm feeling
I'm Feeling
And that might just be alright.

So I plunge myself into darkness.  Or maybe light.
Taking flight
And risking
And daring
To see what I know
And what I have to learn
In Life.

This last week I supposedly "left" Chile.  However, when I got on the bus towards the North, I didn't feel ready to leave, not quite yet.  Being torn between leaving Patagonia and desiring to return, these were the thoughts and the questions that came to mind.  Thus, a poem.  I've decided that even though I did arrive to Buenos Aires, I'm still not quite done with the end of the world.  I'm going back...but I promise...not when...but that I will...return home.

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